Sunday, 14 December 2008

Mistletoe and Whine

Well hello, nice to see you, to see you........ I really must stop watching Brucie on that Strictly Come Dancing thingy, I think it may be getting to me. Anyway, how are you? Ready for Christmas?

Of course, the correct answer to this if you are any friend of mine, is absolutely, definitely "NO WAY". Please don't tell me you've already wrapped all your presents, iced your cake, cleaned out your freezer and filled it with home-made goodies. I just couldn't stand it. And if you are one of these hideously organised people who have made their own cards from sticky backed plastic and glitter way back in November, please speak to the hand 'cos the face ain't listening.

No, I prefer the haphazard chaos theory of Christmas preparations - ignore it for as long as possible, throw up my hands in horror that it is in fact NEXT WEEK, tear around like a maniac buying all manner of unsuitable gifts, open the Harveys Bristol cream and fling decorations on the tree whilst steadily getting festively merry.

Catering-wise I've decided to take the easy road this year with ready-stuffed turkey, pre-prepared veg, M and S gravy and Mamma Mia DVD for afters. Hopefully having produced this gourmet feast I'll be wearing a new pair of those furry slippers that look like Ugg boots, my feet up on the sofa, a tin of Quality Street on my lap, waiting for one of my doting family to bring me a cup of tea after they've washed up and tidied the kitchen.

In my fantasy world all presents will have been received with enthusiasm, Christmas dinner will have passed without anyone having an argument, I will remain sober until tea-time and no one will notice we've lost half the Scrabble tiles since last year. It will all have been absolutely perfect, worth all the effort and everyone will be happy.

In reality I have only two words to say to that. One is "fat" and the other is "chance".

But really, what is a "perfect" Christmas? For me, it's having my family around me, my kids under my roof once more, sitting at a table with everyone I love around it.

So this coming week when we're all struggling with bags of shopping in the pouring rain (unless you've pre-booked your Sainsbury's delivery slot, in which case you can stay at home and be smug), or standing in a queue at M and S listening to everyone around us moaning about the amount of stuff other people are buying ("it's only two days after all, I don't know what all the fuss is about"), let's hold on to what's really important to us this year. Whatever you wish for yourselves, I hope you get it. Within reason, of course.

Happy Christmas everyone, try not to throttle each other, and enjoy.


Maggie May said...

My Christmas is going to be just like yours, Swearing Mother. Haphazard is the family motto! Everything slung together without thinking!
Everyone will be happy and no arguments. Everyone will come to their meals when called and everything will be gobbled up with enthusiasm.
I also like Strictly Come Dancing! Have been glued to it! Also Little Dorrit that is now over.
Lovely to see you posting again! Happy Christmas.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

It's very nice to see you too Swearing Mother and I loved your post.

I have to admit to being fairly organised this year but this is the first year I haven't been working (and I no longer have any "young" family to deal with). There will be 8 of us on the day with ages ranging from 4 to 92, (the 92 year old still has a wicked sense of humour) and I love having the family round, so hopefully it will be fun. We (me and OH) will probably have the place to ourselves from early evening - first time for years and I'm looking forward to that as well.

Happy Christmas.

A x

Expat mum said...

Ha ha. I've just posted my own version of this, and of course, I'm doing what I always do when I have far too much on my to-do list - absolutely bugger all!

travelling, but not in love said...

I'm doing an ostrich and ignoring the fact that it's a week away.

Anyway, I have to go to three more countries before I can get on the plane home (which will make five countries including france and the UK).

Only slightly ridiculous....

Swearing Mother said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Swearing Mother said...

Hi Maggie May, I missed the last episode of Little Dorrit, twice! Didn't even see the repeat, so am gutted. Will have to read the book.

Strawberry Jame Anne, hello. Your Christmas sounds great, especially your plans for Christmas evening. Have a lovely time.

Expat Mum, bugger all is my speciality and I've been feverishly doing that all day.

Ooh hello Travelling, meant to get in touch with you re that cuppa we're supposed to be meeting up for, now you're off round the world again so it's a bit too late for this year. Hope you touch ground for long enough to have a fab Christmas.

Pam said...

Merry Christmas to you too. For the first time in years I'm dancing with excitment as my 2.5 year old kind-of gets it. I'm even excited about putting carrots and milk out for santa and reindeers!
Hope you have a lovely day XXXX

Mean Mom said...

I've done a few things towards Christmas, but not everything by any means. Nothing is home made in my house, these days, I'm afraid!

We're having Christmas lunch at my son's place, with his girlfriend and her family and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I need to be in the Midlands for tea and I don't want get there very late. Oh, well, fingers crossed.

I nearly always find that I'm running around on Christmas Eve trying to get stuff I've forgotten about.

Hope Christmas turns out exactly as you would like and that someone gets you your furry slippers!

Maggie May said...

SM...... me again..... You can still see Little Dorrit on your computer via iPlayer!

softinthehead said...

Your plan sounds like the perfect Christmas day, I will keep my fingers crossed for you that some it may go according to your dreams. Have a lovely day no matter how it turns out.

Mid-lifer said...

GOOD!!! I like the haphazard casual approach to Christmas too.
Those pesky people who say smugly 'well..that's the Christmas shopping done' in October really get my goat. I mean, how organised can you be?

Merry Christmasxxxx

The Draughtsman said...

I prefer a delayed action Christmas. Don't do nuffink till the last minute. Well.. I did get the pressies in, in good time and posted all my cards to Cyprus before too late but we've only put the decs up now.

Working Mum said...

Ooops! Don't read my last two posts, then.

Merry Christmas to you!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

I'm not sure how far we have got re Christmas. i shall have to ask my wife!

meredic said...

Christmas....good lord is it that time of year already...aha! I see the evenings are getting lighter.
happy Christmas then swearingmother.

The Draughtsman said...

Never mind Christmas.....



Mimi said...

Well, SM, now that it's all over, and almost time to take down the decorations and throw out any left -over turkey, how'd it all go? Of course, it will all be different next year, that's what I keep telling myself. But look, we all survived and didn't throttle each other, how about you?? mimi Happy 2009

Cath said...

Your post after this "Let Peace Be with you" is (according to my blog list) posted six days ago but I can't get the page. I just get this post as the last post.

How the devil are you anyway?

kerry jean lister said...

If you think Xmas is annoying get yourself down to a local Sainsburys, Tesco or Asda at the moment.


It never stops.

Love your blog SM - I'm doing some work with parent bloggers at the moment and would love to have a chat. Do drop me an email if you get chance =)

Kerry @MLBB

Unknown said...

Missin you Sweary.

Hope all well.

Swearing Mother said...

Missin you guys, so I have just posted something I wrote just after Christmas.

Creative juices running on empty!