Thursday, 20 March 2008

Just Let It Be

I spend quite a lot of time worrying about the effect I have on other people. Have I been mean to someone? Was I a bit sharp? Am I being unfair? That kind of thing. I have a dread of saying something a bit too near the mark (apart from swearing of course) and upsetting someone, or being unfairly critical or hurtful. I don't like that in others, so hate it in myself. But I know I occasionally do it even so.

The problem is, I am a real bitch when riled. Or even when moderately annoyed. Or mildly cheesed off, come to think about it. I regularly give myself a good talking to about that. Having the ability to answer back, to always think of the killer put-down and never be lost for words is something of a curse if you happen to have a conscience about what you say, but an inability to stop yourself saying it. I really wish I was a nicer person. I would like to be able to see something really irritating happening and not feel compelled to comment about it, to just shrug and sigh and walk away, maybe sagely nodding my head. But it just ain't happening. I always wade in, fight my corner, your corner, anybody's corner, whoever. And you know what? I'm getting a bit tired of myself. I need to change, I want to be sweetness and light, I'd like to just let stuff wash over me, my feathers remaining unruffled. A new serene me.

And what has brought about this epiphany?

Well, have you seen how ugly Heather McCartney looks in all the papers this week? The more she rants and raves, spits venom and chucks water, the more unattractive that girl is looking (which is more than can be said for Sir Paul's divorce lawyer, Fiona Shackleton, who looks so much better soaking wet than dry). Everyone is laughing at Heather and she still doesn't know why. All in all she's made a complete fool of herself, but still argues on and on and on, despite the fact that she has been well and truly rumbled. The girl just doesn't know when to shut up.

So, as I was looking at her pictures in the papers this week and wondering why, if she's got so much money, she doesn't sort her eyebrows out (and yes, that was my bitchy self speaking, I haven't quite got it under control just yet) and noticing what anger, vengeance and greed can do to a person, it occured to me that getting so emotional can't be all that good for you. Perhaps sometimes it is true that you can't always get what you want, and not getting it is maybe good for the soul or something like that.

Anyway, from now on expect a cool, calm and collected Non-Swearing Mother, who never says anything remotely bitchy or offensive (at least until the end of this week). After that let's see how long it lasts.

Happy Easter.


softinthehead said...

a cool, calm and collected Non-Swearing Mother - no thanks, she doesn't sound very interesting! :0

Mean Mom said...

You are obviously a quick thinker. I don't usually come up with the killer put-down until 2 days' later! Occasionally it can take just as long for me to realise that I've been insulted!

I know what you mean about not wanting to hurt anyone, with a nasty remark I would never deliberately say anything to upset anyone else - not unless they upset me first, of course.

belle said...

I'm going to have to go back to those photos and check out the eyebrows now ... that makes me bad, doesn't it? Hey ho ;o)

laurie said...

don't you much money is enough money? for rich people like her, there never seems to be enough. that's very sad.

Sweet Irene said...

I am like Mean Mom and don't realize I have been insulted until it is too late to say something really nasty myself. I could do some serious damage if I wanted to, because I don't lack in the imagination or the spitefulness. I am just not quick enough on my feet, so maybe you should hang on to that skill and not identify yourself so closely with Heather McCartney. Maybe you have a talent others wish they had.


Bugger that SM - Oh look it's Friday already - end of the week in my book .... back to situation normal :-) Bum, Bum, Bloody Bum, I say ...

Can I just admit that, like Belle, I too have to go back to that photo but not because I want to gloat and say; 'Shut Up, Enough now' to Heather Mills/McCartney's face (although I shall, as I cannot bear to listen to her bleating any longer), but because I am highly embarrassed that I haven't been attending to my own eyebrows in a wee while and am now feeling terribly ashamed that I too may look as ghastly as the 'evil one'..

KAREN said...

I'm in touch with my inner bitch, but rarely let her out as I'm too worried about hurting people's feelings, by saying something I can't take back.

Heather Mills's eyebrows are the least of her problems...that woman is seriously unhinged. (Actually, that was quite bitchy).

Casdok said...

Yes why dosnt she sort her eyebrows out!

Mopsa said...

life would be terribly dull if we all held our tongues...

CrazyCath said...

Oh SM I do NOT believe you are anything like Heather Mills / McCartney (whatever she's called these days)! You are quite right, the girl does NOT know when to shut up and has shown herself in her true colours. She has LIED and bitched. Lied in the press and probably under oath.

You might be passionate about things. I prefer to think of you as passionate - I see it in your posts. I doubt you tell great big whopping lies to get what you want or as much money as you can. That's greed.

Don't be so hard on yourself. We all open our mouths when we shouldn't. At least you fight a corner that isn't always labelled "ME". ;0)

Expatmum said...

They do say that you get less wrinkles if you smile! My face in repose always looks like I've just lost a million quid, so I should also probably practice looking more serene if not happy.

GoneBackSouth said...

Although I think you consider yourself blessed with a sharp wit and the ability to hit the jugular with a swift put-down, it does sound like you genuinely do want to keep it under control, so that others don't get hurt. Here's a great book to help: Beating Anger by Mike Fisher. I own it, with embarrassment: its turned around on the shelf with the pages and not the spine showing, so nobody can see!!!

Maggie May said...

I think yu'd lose alot of street cred if ya changed gal!
Stay as you are! You're not mean!
You told me when I first set off, "Be yourself" & I think that's good advice. Have to be true to yourself.

That Heather is another thing altogether. She is so greedy & has come out of it very nicely. There's only SO much you can spend in a life time.

ciara said...

i've tried this...only last me about two days tops. LOL i wish i could stop swearing and being bitchy. but until my family stops stressing me (which could be a very long time), i don't think it's gonna happen lmao

Norman said...

Ey lass, just say what thou means and mean what thou saith. Its an old north-country saying. Folks like that are honest folk. Including them wot swears.

DogLover said...

Years ago, I was standing on a London street, late for an appointment and waiting for a taxi coming towards me. As I opened the door, an immaculately-dressed gent moved past me saying smoothly, "I think I was first, dear boy!" and got in.

I stood open-mouthed as the taxi drove off.

Like Mean Mom, I needed the quick response!

Something clever, like "Fuck off!"

Swearing Mother said...

Softinthehead: You're probably right, don't think I can manage it anyway!

Mean Mom: Yes, know what you mean, I don't like to hurl the first punch but always want to throw the last one!

Yes, Belle, you are bad and that's probably why you are so much fun. :o)

Laurie, a true case of "Can't Buy Me Love" but she still wants all the money.

Hi Sweet Irene, I am pretty thick-skinned when it comes to being insulted personally, I always think the other person didn't mean it the way I took it and give them the benefit of the doubt. But if they really did mean it, then they'd better brace themselves (unless what they said was true, of course).

Mzungu Chick: It's not as if she didn't expect to get her face in the papers, so Heather has no excuse!

Karen, hello! Agree with you re Heather McCartney, she is totally away with the fairies.

Casdok, Hi. Maybe it's because the eyes are supposed to be windows to the soul, so her unkempt eyebrows are her version of net curtains!

Hello Mopsa, yes you're right. I've never been able to do it for long anyway.

Crazycath, thanks for that. Was just feeling that I'd been a little over-aggressive of late (hormones)and wondered if there's a better way of expressing myself.

Expatmum, hello. Yes, know what you mean. People used to say "cheer up, it might never happen" and I got tired of explaining that my face just looks like that, whatever mood I'm in.

Gonebacksouth: Thanks for the tip, I'm definitely getting that book!

Maggie May, that's true, I did say that about being yourself. Thanks for reminding me about that.

Ciara, I am with you on that one. I'm thinking of having T-shirts printed with "Don't Provoke Me"!

Hello Norman, as always you are the voice of reason. Ee lad, tha's grand.

Doglover, the cheeky sod! You've never got a heat-seeking missile launcher with you when you want one, have you?

Miriam said...

I don't like the sound of the new non-swearing mother- that'd be no fun at all. Stay just as you are, you're great fun and I'm sure your little bad side is not nearly as bad as you think it is. I wish I had your quick thinking ability- I come up with the goods about a week later, which is no use at all, mimi

Grit said...

the globally wealthy can piss everyone off then go somewhere else and buy new friends.

but those of us who piss off the neighbours have to make up again tomorrow. you see? our humble side can only be brought out by quick temper. conclusion: be angry to be nice.

knifepainter said...

Don't go getting all poncey and nice.

I love a good rant, and I love reading someone else's too !

the mother of this lot said...

Cool, calm, collected.....I can't wait. Shall I attempt to join you?

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

I spend quite a lot of time worrying about the effect I have on other people. Have I been mean to someone? Was I a bit sharp? Am I being unfair? That kind of thing. I.......

Look, people take you as you are or they can F off. :)

Swearing Mother said...

Miriam, hi. Sometimes a time-delayed fuse is a good thing, believe me!

Grit, like your logic!

KP, don't think I'm cut out for this being nice lark, anyway, too much of a strain.

Hi MOTL, I know from reading your blog that you're nice already!

James, you know I think you're right. To thine own self be true, and all that kind of stuff?

Tina said...

I don't think it's healthy, you know, all this being nice. I rant & swear & shout, but not all the time. Do I have an ulcer? No. Do I suffer from stress? No. Am I quick to flame, but quick to calm down? Absolutely. Do I laugh with the passion that I rage? Yes, of course.

And I bet you're the same, SM. You're just looking after your health.

Buggles Balham High Road said...

I thought exactly the same at how ugly Heather looked in the photos and concluded that the press photographers don't like her so editors published the pictures.

Must check the eyebrows now.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Kick that conscience into touch and walk away from the notion that you need to change. History is full of characters and people that say it like it is and they are the one's remembered. Not so the dull, beige people that have one dimensional personalities and no spine to tell it like it is. You are nice - being opinionated and saying what you think doesn't make you a horrible person but a colourful one who is entertaining and fun!

Heather Mills - she'll be off to get a copy of Goldiggers Weekly to see what other ageing and widowed old coffin dodging billionaires are just waiting for her to turn up with her purse open!

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Tina, it's so hard keeping the lid on the old emotions, I don't think it can be all that healthy bottling things up. You are so right.

Hi B B High Road, nice to read you. Yes, you can tell the Press don't like Heather by the photos they publish. Wonder why?

MOB, you are quite right of course as per usual. Beige is definitely not my colour.

travelling, but not in love said...

Bah! Nice, schmice I say.

Be a bitch. It's more fun.

But remember, there's a difference between killer put-downs, sharp tongued retorts and just being plain nasty.

That Mills girl? She NASTY.

Anonymous said...

Dont be so daft, you couldnt not be you. Any way bitch is good, its feisty and edgy, better than mimsy and boring.
Take a stance woman, get a pose and go for it .

Swearing Mother said...

Travelling, you are simply my best mate. Mwah.

Thanks Valleys Mam, I needed someone to give me a good shake!

Marianne said...

Hello, just found you through Girl with a Mask- loving exploring, must come back when have more time. This is hysterical though, love the way you lose it "when riled", right through to "when you see unruly eyebrows"!

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Marianne, nice to meet you!