Monday, 4 May 2009

A Quiet Sort Of A Do....

You know you've had a really good 60th birthday party if, when clearing up the morning after, the three most random items left by guests departing at daft o'clock the night before, are:

a) A Pyrex bowl.
b) A single jewelled flip-flop.
c) A Screw-Fix catalogue.

I'm not really sure which of those things I find the most puzzling.

Maybe someone felt they had to bring their own Pyrex bowl just in case our party food turned out to be a bit more stomach-churning than usual, or they intended to get raucously drunk and weren't sure if they should partake of vast amounts of alcohol whilst on medication. That sort of fits in with the age group.

Re the single flip-flop - I tried to remember if we'd entertained a female unidexter*, or someone with their leg in plaster, or if any of our friends had arrived and left in an unusual hopping style, but I can't recall anyone who fits the bill.

Maybe the thing that mystifies me the most is the Screw-Fix catalogue. WTF was that all about?

Creative answers only please:

NB: Travelling and Knifepainter - try and keep it clean dear boys.


* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFoagC5yGY0

22 comments:

Maggie May said...

You are really very funny!
Glad you had a good time.

Sounds like someone brought a catalogue to read in case the party was boring.... no to interest other people and a bowl in case they were sick........ no I mean in case there were left overs!
Are you sure ALL your shoes are there? Maybe some one put on one of yours by accident while they were stoned out of their mind. Must have left in a hurry hobbling along in one flip flop and one of your stilettos!

The Gossamer Woman said...

Are you sure somebody didn't bring you something good to eat in that bowl? ome people are kind that way.

You may have been too inebriated to watch someone leave on only one flip flop (there's not that much difference in height).

I don't know what a Screw-Fix Catalogue is, so I can't help you with that one. Is it stuff that fixes the hole that you put a screw in?

Mean Mom said...

So that's where I left my stuff! I had nothing to cook the tea in, tonight, I've got one very cold foot and I've turned the house upside down looking for my screw- fix catalogue. Do you think you could send them on?

Glad you had a good time at your party! Congratulations on reaching 60 and belated happy birthday! Read your last post, too. Beautiful! I was an infrequent visitor to the Rum Runner and the Opposite Lock. Are they renamed now, or knocked down, or something? Will I see you on the bus, now that you've got your pass, then? ;0)

travelling, but not in love said...

Maybe someone was hoping there'd be a bit of knocking and banging going on.

I guess it wasn't that kind of a party....

Swearing Mother said...

Maggie, as yet no one has noticed their flip-flop is missing. This is getting more and more weird!

Irene, Hi. Screw Fix is a company that sells all manner of DIY stuff, the catalogue is compulsive reading for chaps of a certain age.

Hi Mean Mom, not sure what those good old clubs are called now but will check up on it.

Hello Travelling, we did manage to nail a few though, despite advancing years. Tee hee.

Mopsa said...

A Screw-fix catalogue is a permanent fixture in our downstairs bog. Alongside Agricultural Trader. It's a man thing. I have "Dirty bits for Girls" (an India Knight anthology), the Saturday Guardian and art catalogues.. that may be way TMI?

Swearing Mother said...

Mopsa, with that amount of reading material in the DSB (downstairs bog)I think your family may need more roughage in their diet. :0)

Thumbelina said...

A screw fix catalogue and you want it kept clean?
How about... no. Erm... what about.. no. Oh! yes it could be.... oh. no.

*sigh*
Nope. No clean ones. ;0)

Cath said...

Come over and read the post "memes" and see what is going on....

Cath said...

Oh - meant to say. "Screwfix" - wasn't a man that left it by any chance?
They're the only ones who would want to fix a screw I think.

Oh - sorry. You wanted it kept clean. :)

Pam said...

What on earth is a screw-fix?
Next party I go to I'm going to leave something obscure just to cause morning-after confusion.

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Thumbelina, yes I know it's difficult but you've done very well.

Cath, Screw-fix is definitely a man's shop. Sad, very sad.

Hi Pam, Screw-Fix is a shop that sells all manner of hardware, or as we used to say in the UK, ironmongery. Boy stuff, and nowhere near as much fun as jewellery. The catalogue is the DIY man's answer to Playboy magazine.

Norman said...

Congrats on making 60. Now you can become an expert on bus routes and timetables 'cos once you've got your bus pass you can go anywhere for nowt. Nat Express is dirt cheap as well. Not free, but less than half price.
One tip though. When sitting in the bus station waiting for the next bus along with the old dears, DON'T LOOK IN THE MIRROR. You're one of 'em! It can come as quite a shock!

Expat mum said...

Hmmm, you'll have to do a better job of vetting the guest list next time. Anyone who prefers reading a Screwfix catalogue to having a good time at a party is a bit dodgy.

James Higham said...

a) A Pyrex bowl.
b) A single jewelled flip-flop.
c) A Screw-Fix catalogue.

Mind boggles.

family affairs said...

Happy birthday! Just popped over from Wife ITN's blog as I see you and I left exactly the same comment! Lx

Working mum said...

Ha ha! Are you sure my parents weren't at that party? Mum would bring you a dessert (in Pyrex bowl), change from flip flops into driving shoes and Dad is surgically attached to the Screw Fix catalogue. Do I know you? Aunty Margaret? :)

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Norman, thanks for that info re bus passes. I've been trying to ignore it until now :0)

Hello Expat Mum, yes I thought the Screwfix catalogue was a bit of an insult to be honest, as if any party of mine would be that boring!

James, boggling indeed. Maybe an idea for a new party game perhaps.

Family Affairs, thanks for the best wishes. Great minds think alike, obviously.

Working Mum, hi. No, am definitely not Aunty Margaret, but then again .......

laurie said...

my goodness, i haven't been to a party like that in years!

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Laurie, those were the days eh? Seriously, I've got some very weird friends, thank goodness.

Winchester whisperer said...

Belated Happy Birthday SM!

Swearing Mother said...

WW - and a belated thanks to you!!