That naughty little minx, Mean Mom, has tagged me with a Meme. Is she psychic? How did she know that I'd sunk into the slough of despond (remember that slough, it's despond can be very nasty) and was wallowing in my own self-pity, unable to blog, and needed a well aimed kick up the backside to get me going again?
The problem? Well, it's been a really crappy week at work. People keep mentioning my age. Someone only three years younger than me told everyone I was "powering down to retirement" - that really hurt, considering I'm working far harder than some of those who are supposed to be powering up. Then I set fire to a baked potato in the office microwave because I was multi-tasking and answering everybody's goddam phone whilst I was at work and they were not. Now they must think I'm a senile old bat who can't be trusted with hot food. Bollocks.
I. Have. Had. Enough. A joke's a joke, but things are getting on top of me and I'm beginninig to lose my sense of humour. I need some time out, so have taken the week off to go away and think about what I'm doing with my life, which is very little considering the length of time I've been on this planet.
In the meantime, the Meme. Can't believe there's anything you don't already know about me, but simply because I love Mean Mom and she's showered me with awards, I am going to do it anyway. But not with good grace, obviously. I am after all a crabby old bag. And don't think I'm obeying the rules (or telling you what they are) or passing the meme on or anything like that either, because at my advanced age I'll probably forget, simply not bother or be too bloody arsey to do it properly.
Sorry about that.
Now go get a blanket and prepare to nod off while I carry on dribbling down my cardigan:
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Precisely the same sodding thing that I'm doing now. Only I was younger and not "powering down for retirement". Huh.
Name 5 snacks you enjoy.
1. Charcoal baked potatoes, left in the microwave too long because I WAS RUNNING ROUND LIKE A BLUE ARSED FLY and didn't notice the smoke.
2. Stewed apple that doesn't interfere with my dentures.
3. Anything that can be liquidised and taken through a straw.
5. Crustless bread dipped in warm milk, thank you nurse.
If you were a billionaire, how would you spend the money?
Go into work on Monday and tell everyone who annoys me to sod off.
Name 5 jobs you have had.
Five jobs too many. All involved working my arse off to make someone else look like a frigging genius.
Name 3 bad habits you have.
I can occasionally go over the top with my moaning and swearing(really?).
I am sometimes a bit vitriolic about people who annoy me (the whole wax/doll/pins scenario).
I have a burning urge for senseless violence and hideously bad language when riled (no shit, Sherlock).
I am seriously angry a lot of the time (surprise, surprise).
And yes, I know I am only supposed to have three bad habits, BUT DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, five is my absolute working minimum at the moment.
Name 5 places where you have lived.
Leamington Spa - lovely, lovely, lovely. Really lovely.
Birmingham, not the posh bit. Not very lovely at all. It wasn't my idea.
Birmingham, the slightly posher bit. A bit more lovely.
Tamworth, not very posh or lovely but very friendly. With very affordable housing.
Birmingham, the very posh bit, thinks it's lovely, but is just up itself really. And still not as lovely as Leamington.
So that's it. Wish it was a bit more interesting, but there it is, my life in a nutshell.
And what the fuck does it all amount to?
I have absolutely no idea. Not enough, that's for sure.
And did I mention it's my birthday next week? Probably not.