Monday, 21 April 2008

Your Life In A Limerick:

Here’s another Meme. This time I can’t blame anyone else, it was my idea, though I should say that Amy over on Blog to the Bone is the real culprit because she started it first. The Limerick theme I mean.

Although obviously, as you can imagine, I know some really awful ones (or good ones, depending on how broad your sense of humour is) I decided to put a twist on my Meme (don’t I always?) and this time ask anyone who wants to join in to write a limerick describing themselves, or their life in general. Unless you happen to actually be that Young Man From Tashkent, (who’s genitals were very bent, dah dah dah di dah, dah dah di di dah, and instead of coming you went), in which case we will allow you a bit of poetic licence, but other than that, no filth please unless it’s very, very funny or pertinent to your story. And that means you Travelling. And Knifepainter. Oh, and Cath - don't think just because your Dad's away you can be rude.

Here’s mine:

A mother so normally caring,
Got pissed off and then began swearing,
She ranted and raved, became so depraved,
*And ended up putting it all on the internet and then was ashamed of herself and wished she hadn’t done it because eventually her children might see it and think that she’s an embarrassing foul-mouthed harridan not realizing that she did it
Quite simply to appear a bit daring.

*OK, so I cheated.

Over to you.


She's like the wind said...

You crack me up everytime without even trying. Your last post was hilarious but of course I feel for you.
On google reader there was a post as good as a Mills and Boon, where is it, why is it not on here it was fantastic, I loved it. xx

She's like the wind said...

PS as for the limerick, I might try it soon. xx

Semaj Mahgih said...

Excellent. Think I'll ahve a go at this.

Expatmum said...

Oh great. One more thing to do - I can't resist a poetry challenge, especially when it doesn't have to be full of sentiment and imagery. Will get back to you.

Mean Mom said...

I couldn't get your limerick to scan.:0) If I ever suspected, for a single moment, that anyone was hunting for my blog, I would either have to delete my blog, or them. It would be a close call.

aims said...

What a great limerick! Talk about taking the challenge and putting paid to it! (as the old saying goes)

Swearing Mother said...

She's Like The Wind: Hello! I messed up with the mock Mills and Boon, then got it back again but thought it was too cheesy to post it back on. Maybe I'll put it back again later, just worried I might get the mickey taken out of me for being mushy.

James, I am so looking forward to yours!

Expatmum, hi! Humour is the key, indeed. If I do sentiment and imagery, it's usually when drunk and everyone laughs anyway.

Mean Mom: Ah, if only life were the same, i.e., edit? or delete? Wouldn't everything be perfect?

Aims, hello! I can never follow the rules on anything so had to take a leaf out of Frank Sinatra's book and do it my way. Ha!

Expatmum said...

OK, it's not quite 8 in the morning here, so this is not up to par:

I grew up in the cold and the fog (Tyneside)
Where folk call the toilet "the bog"
My chores they are plenty
At least five and twenty (I told you)
But I get distracted and blog.

(Like right now when I should be harranging the kids to go to school.)

Swearing Mother said...

Expatmum that is brilliant!! Loved it, well done!

travelling, but not in love said...

How's this for miserable...

There was a young man on a plane
Who at first glance seemed terribly sane.
On deeper inspection,
he was without direction,
that poor, lost young man on a plane.

To make up for that dirge, here's an old classic...

There was a young man named Dave
who found an old whore in a cave
He said 'she is musty
and all over dusty,
but think of the money I'll save'

I thank you.

Tina said...

TBNIL, you crack me up! (the second one, obviously).

Brilliant meme as ever SM.

Here we go

There was an old woman, twice wed,
'Is marriage the answer?' she said.
'I know third time's a charm,
But I'm filled with alarm
And frankly I'd rather be dead.'

As I'm now on blogging sabbatical, I'll see you around soon,

Take care,

CalumCarr said...

Had a go at my place but for those unable / unwilling to look here it is :

A family so incredibly tired
Of the life in which they are mired
Say, "Go to the press"
"Slag off the NHS"
"Just give us the treatment required"

San said...


There is no way I can come up with anything as clever as that. You break the rules very effectively.

Swearing Mother said...

Travelling, knew you'd be good at the Limerick Challenge. And cleanish too. Phew.

Tina! Fantastic! Enjoy the break but come back soon, hope everything's OK with you.

Hi CalumCarr: How very apt, sorry to hear that you are still being sold short by the NHS.

San, lovely to read you again. Do have a go if you change your mind about the limerick, bet you'd be great!

travelling, but not in love said...

SM, I had a real filthy one, but felt it may have been a bit on the inappropriate side...!

ho hum.

Swearing Mother said...

Travelling, thanks for the restraint although I have to admit to being real curious.

Maggie May said...

There once was a grannie from Wessex
(That stretches from Gwent to Essex),
She blogs happy or sad
And is really quite mad
And her family life is quite complex!

Swearing Mother said...

Fantastic Maggie May!

CrazyCath said...

That's taking poetic licence to the limit!

Love it.

And I'm rude when my dad's here so that won't stop me when he's away. Anyway, he reads blogs from cyprus when he can get his hands on a pc...

I'll have a go at this sometime. For now, I better go get some shut eye.
Your kids won't read it. Mine don't. They just think we write boring stuff. I read them a couple of excerpts they won't like (like recipes or somat) and that puts them off snooping. ;0)

Sam said...

A Wessex man named Sam May
Got drunk and had a roll in the hay
Nine months later
Sam was a pater
And it happened on a sunny May Day

The Mighty Sam

Swearing Mother said...

Crazycath: If my kids ever suspect my guilty secret I'm must going to pretend I'm Wife In The North.

Sam, Hi! How great to read you, Maggie May's little boy! Will be over to check you out immediately.

Anonymous said...

I can't write my life in a limerick - I prefer the sonnet for myself or possibly an Epic poem like Mutleouwulf...

Anonymous said...

There was a mam from gwent
who's humour was defintley bent
She tried to be dour
But turned out too sour
So now she reside in west Kent

A serious blogger called Tilly
read her posts and felt silly
They tried to be bright
but read daft and light
Thats the story of mam silly billy

Swearing Mother said...

Mutley! How lovely to read you! Of course you are right, a Limerick would just not be able to do you justice. After you all, you are a legend.

Fantastic Valleys Mam, two for the price of one!

Anonymous said...

There was a bloke or a dog with no brain
Who found most of his life quite a Pain
He went shopping a lot and ate what he got
But then got run down by a train*

*This bit is not true but I am rubbish at rhymes and train rhymes with pain...

Edward said...

The best limerick ever is surely

There was a young man from Dundee
Who feared he'd been stung by a wasp
When asked "Does it hurt?"
He replied "No, it doesn't"
"And I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet"

By the way, brilliant blog. Very, very funny.

the mother of this lot said...

When reading the blog 'Mother's Pride'
You may think that the author has lied
But in fact it's all true
And the things this lot do
Just couldn't be worse if they tried.

Swearing Mother said...

Mutley, you are quite the dog's....biscuits.

Edward, hi, nice to meet you. You are indeed correct, that is truly brilliant.

TMOTL: That is fab!

Pam said...

A Lancashire lass in Ohio
A mother, a wife and a wino
Tries to explain
With considerable pain
It’s not Iowa or Idaho, it’s OHIO!

Milla said...

Yup, that's pretty good, and, frankly, the only thing to do when Need To Fill In A Limerick and One's Own Natural And Most Necessary Verbosity collide.

Retiredandcrazy said...

There was an old lady from Surrey
Who's life was lived in a hurry
She lived life so fast
She ended up up her ass
And that was a serious worry!

I love limericks!

Retiredandcrazy said...

There was an old lady from Surrey
Who's life was lived in a hurry
She lived life so fast
She ended up up her ass
And that was a serious worry!

I love limericks!

Retiredandcrazy said...

Sorry, I pressed too many times!

There was also a lady from Keele
Who loved to cook a good meal
She fried a mean steak
Or cooked up a hake
Until sick she started to feel

Mr Pineapples said...

Good Gawd - what a moany you are.

Do you think you were born like that? Or have you learned it?

A nature/nurture debate is kicking off here.

Are you EVER happy?

Luv Mr P


Retiredandcrazy said...

Hi, there is an award waiting for you at my place

Working mum said...

Hi! I popped in 'cause I've noticed your comments around other blogs I read. Will be back to read more.

Tried to do a limerick, but couldn't quite get it to rhyme:

there once was a working mum
quite clever and not all that dumb
tried having it all
found it wasn't a ball
and now blogging to have much more fun!

Frog in the Field said...

Bloody brilliant!
All the ones sent in are brilliant too!

There once was a Blog Swearing Mother
Who swore from one day to t'other
She ranted and raged
Like an animal caged
She should have a place on Big Brother

Boom boom!
Sorry, a bit duff and I wouldn't really wish anyone on that awful show.


meredic said...

Curses, there goes Monday. I shall spend all my time thinking up a suitable limerick now! Grrr....

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

There is nothing I enjoy reading more than one of your posts when you are fired up. The previous one was priceless, and I love your limerick. I'll have to think of one of my own.

Swearing Mother said...

Brilliant Pam, I bet that whole Ohio/Idaho/Iowa confusion really gets on your nerves.

Milla, hi. What you said, definitely.

Retired and Crazy, two funny limericks, thanks for playing!

Hi Mr P. You sure it's my blog you've been reading? Me, moany?? How very dare you! :o)

Working Mum, lovely to read you. Brilliant limerick, says it all.

Hi Frog, do you think the occupants of Big Brother could survive me though?

Meredic, know just what you mean. All weekend I've been thinking up limericks, none of them as good as all this lot unfortunately.

Wakeup, there's nothing like a good rant now and then is there? Just has to be done.