Sunday, 30 December 2007

Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want From 2008

A bit like Elvis, my son has now left the building. In his wake he leaves a smoking ruin of a house, a sentimental weeping wreck of a mother and an empty fridge. It's been great, but he needs to get back to Uni-land to take up where he left off. There's work to be done, people to see, Wii games to play and lager to drink, so there's a lot of catching up to do. Not to mention he has a hot date for New Year's Eve. Oh yes.

Me? Well, I'm wandering from room to room surveying the chaos. I haven't done a single bit of housework since before Christmas and, believe me, you can tell. The tree which looked so lovely only a week ago has become a target for walnut and satsuma throwing miscreants (OK, I did it too, but only when drunk and egged on by my naughty children), so most of the needles are now firmly embedded in the carpet and the fairy looks decidedly pissed. Every gold-rimmed plate, dish, crystal wine glass and trifle bowl is washed but stacked in the kitchen, waiting for someone to be arsed to put them away until next time. And right now, that isn't going to be me.

It's going to take me a bit of time to get back into harness, even if I can find one that still fits me. I've stuffed my greedy face for a week, drunk myself silly and grazed continuously 24/7 since Christmas Eve. I've so enjoyed having the family around me and have gone native to a degree which has astounded them as much as me, given that in the past I've had a bit of a reputation for my Hyacinth Bouquet tendencies. I was once called "Mrs. Clean" by an ex-friend. Note the ex. But I haven't once dusted, polished or brought out the 1001 carpet spray, which is a bit of a first for me, given that I usually like things to be just so.

So it's not impossible to change, is it? We can all get a new perspective on life, however many Christmases and New Years we've lived through. We don't have to be shackled by the past, repeat our usual mistakes, run on the same rails as we've always done. Things cannot remain the same if we are to grow and flourish.

If blogging has taught me something, then it's this. Reading about other people's lives, the good and the bad bits, the random and sad bits, has shown me that there is no such thing as "normal" or "standard". Blogs have made me laugh out loud and even cry sometimes, I've ranted and raged occasionally, but some things have been constant - my enjoyment, involvement and interest.

Next year my target is to find a magazine or newspaper editor who will let me write an occasional short column or even contribute regularly in some way. I am starting to collect material for a book, and I've submitted another short story for consideration. I've realised that I just need to write. Don't let me give up, I'm counting on you to give me a swift kick up the arse if I look as if I'm going off the boil, and any suggestions about how I go about reaching my goal would be welcome. If you think I don't have a cat in hell's chance, please be gentle with me as my self-belief is delicate, but I am open to constructive criticism and suggestions.

In the meantime, give me your own aspirations for 2008, I am sure they are going to be impressive given what I know about a lot of you already.

Happy New Year everyone.



Mike said...

Please keep on writing, I enjoy your blog so much, and I'm not a natural reader at all, but would look forward very much to your book.Re the housework, I've just put into the dishwasher the crystal glasses we drank from on Christmas day!Pile of "good" plates waiting to go back in press here too!Isn't that what Christmas is about? Anyway, I don't care at all, cos I'm off to Austria on New year's day for the snow (i hope!) we didn't get in Ireland this Christmas,mimi not mike

Mike said...

'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The stuffing I'd nibbled, the turkey I'd taste, the yummies I'd eaten gone straight to my waist.
The wine and the mince pies, the bread and the cheese, I should have just said"No thank you, please!
So as I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt, I couldn't believe my bottom and belly- the girth!
I said to myself, as only I can, "You can't spend the year disguised as a man!"
So away with the last of the sour-cream dip. Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Til all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
Instead I'll chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have Irish coffees, or chocolates or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly I'll cry:
"I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore-
But isn't that what January's for?"
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
Author unknown
Happy New Year to you all! mimi not mike

Kaycie said...

I love to read what you write and I'm looking forward to more. Great goals you've set for yourself!

My house is a pit, my children are gone for the day, and instead of cleaning the house and doing laundry, I am going to sit on my derriere with hubby and the dogs and watch the fire burn.

Goals for next year? Still in the future.

debio said...

Love your writing resolutions, sm. You are bound to get some offers, if there's any justice.

Me? I like my life - generally - just the way it is. I'm not meaning to sound smug but am learning to deal with my constant striving. I just don't want it to change drastically.

And I know 2008 will bring a great upheaval as my daughter will be going to UK boarding school.

Shoulder to cry on, anyone?

Happy New Year to you and yours!

Anonymous said...

all mine are gone too, it’s been quiet since Friday, Saturday clean up, nah I want out. So out we went took the dog for a long run in the beacons; then we drove up to Llanidloes - there I found that the first ever Laura Ashley shop is being closed down by the Malaysian CEO, because its too small. How shitty is that. The first ever dresses were made by women from eth area, Laura Ashley her self is buried close too. Surely there has to be a reason to keep it. I can see it would be a good business proposition any way. But good news the reductions are mega, everything 50% off and 50% off that price. I pigged out and bought loads - my present box runeth over. I closes 12th January, I feel moved to email this chief executive - what a pissant.
Any way, sort and clean today... Well a bit because the husband blew up the new light fixtures, burned the rug and damaged the mega coffee table.
So by the time that was sorted we had a very expensive electrician , more mess and I cleaned ,But no lunch

Swearing Mother said...

Mimi, that was fab! I am SO glad I'm not the only one with nothing to wear for New Year's Eve! Have a good one.

Kaycie, I've just done exactly the same thing today, minus dogs. It was great.

Debio, glad to hear life is good with you, and hope all goes well for 2008. If your daughter is going to boarding school anywhere in the Midlands, let me know and I can be her surrogate Aunty (non-swearing of course). We'll be there for you, don't worry.

Swearing Mother said...

Valleys Mam: Bloody hell, closing Laura Ashley's original shop? How poor is that? Considering what she's done for the nation, not only in floaty dresses but a zillion "shabby chic" interiors, the National Trust should buy it and keep it open.

Great reductions though.

belle said...

ooh Happy New Year SM, hope it's a fab one. Am off to take a leaf from your book and start chucking satsumas at the Christmas tree :o)

laurie said...

i love this post, and i love what you say about bloggers because you're absolutely right. i never feel so normal as i do when reading others' blogs--all my guilty secrets turn out to be everyone else's guilty secrets too.

my goals for 2008 are to write more, maybe blog less....

Swearing Mother said...

Hope you have a Happy New Year too Belle, you deserve it. Will be over to keep an eye on you ASAP!

Hi Laurie, glad you liked this post. Hope you all have a great New Year, and a very happy 2008.

Tina said...

Plans for 2008? Get roaring drunk tonight, & hopefully behave not nearly as well as I should. I'll let you know as soon as I can! Happy New Year, SM!

Norman said...

Happy New Year to you too, SM. Writing sounds a good idea. I have done a little bit, unpublished as yet and will probably remain so, -making art is my ouevre.
Although we've never met eyeball-to-eyeball, I feel I've got to know you quite well.

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Tina, go for it girl! Will catch up as soon as you are able to put fingers to keyboard (me too!). Have a good one.

Hi Norman, thanks and a very Happy New Year to you too. It's been a pleasure getting to know you this last year, and admiring your sketches. I've even chatted to your daughter! Love to you all.

family affairs said...

I've just revised my new years resolutions, from very small to very big. Keep on writing and thanks for the support!! Happy New Year. Lulux

The Grocer said...

Thanks for all the comments, best wishes for 2008 to you and your family.


Cath said...


Decided to get an account and not just be anon or communicate through dad's blog. Keep writing!

Happy new year to you and yours.

Off to bed now after a good night with mates. ;-) xx

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Lulu, lovely to read you in 2007 and will be over to see what you're up to in 2008!

Thanks Alan, it's been an absolute pleasure keeping up with your developing family! Poo(h) and all.

Hello Cath!! How great that you've done your own thing, looking forward to speaking again in 2008. Blimey Cath, you were up late!

Best wishes.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hmm. Reading other blogs makes me feel odder, but that doesn't worry me. Good luck with the writing.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Wonderful goals you've set for yourself and I can absolutely see you doing anything you put your mind to. I love your blog, and am always thrilled to see a new post up.

Happy 2008 to you and yours.

Cath said...

I was just home from a party.... ;-)

Got up lunchtime, went to parents to stop them killing eachother as is the quaint New Year ritual in our family..... just returned. Now knackered and body reminding me that my son is a young adult. I am an OLD adult and need to calm down....

Winchester whisperer said...

Happy New Year SM!

wife in the north said...

ok idea - what about your local paper? Offer them a column weekly or fortnightly. At the very least they might take a feature on blogging/ women and blogging/ bloggers in your area.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

SM: I look forward to reading more of your writing. I don't know what I'm going to do with this year yet. I just hope it's not as shitty as last year.

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Gorilla Bananas, you odd? Don't believe it! Thanks for visiting, and Happy New Year.

Hello RC: The feeling is entirely mutual, believe me, and thanks so much. Very best wishes to you and yours for 2008.

Hi Cath, good job your parents have you as a refereee, our kids usually take cover up the pub and let us get on with it. Or laugh at us, of course. Happy 2008.

Hello Winchester Whisperer, nice of you to call in. Have a great 2008, and thanks for visiting.

Wife In The North, hello! Thanks for the encouragement, as always, and good ideas. Am going to start harrassing the local rag ASAP. Very best wishes for a great 2008.

Hi Wakeup: To be honest, we had a fairly shitty year last year in some ways too. One of the bright spots, however, was becoming a blogger. Weird but true. Best wishes for a better year in 2008.

the mother of this lot said...

Loved your post. Happy New Year!

Mopsa said...

Happy 2008 SM - here's to publication.

Manic Mother Of Five said...

Hello lovely lady. Don't do resolutions as I am so fickle I don't stick to anything...... Just looking for a few tweaks here and there to keep life ticking over.

Got outrageously drunk on New Years Eve so am actually looking forward to a few abstemious weeks.

Swearing Mother said...

Hello there Mother of This Lot, and welcome! Happy New Year to you and yours.

Cheers Mopsa, and best wishes for 2008.

MMOF: You, drunk? I don't believe it (ha!). Glad you had a good time, all the best for 2008.

Mopsa said...

SM - you've been tagged if you care to call...

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

Justice and to be vindicated.

Swearing Mother said...

Hi Mopsa, will be over ASAP!!

James, hello. It's been a rough old start to 2008 for you one way or another. Hope you are granted your wish and things improve soon.

@themill said...

Must be the year - I too went native for the first time ever - regretting it nowthough as I look around the remains of the house - and I haven't even ventured in the boys bedrooms since they all disappeared again.
Good luck with the book - if it's as entertaining as your blog is will be feckin' brilliant...

Swearing Mother said...

@themill, hello! Thanks for the good wishes, I need them! Glad to hear your house is similar to mine - wrecked but quiet now.

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

Once a mum, always a mum or so I imagine.